


Promise;

by thegaygladers



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Chameron, M/M, anderperry, chareron, pelton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 17:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6433780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegaygladers/pseuds/thegaygladers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie makes a promise to Neil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise;

**Author's Note:**

> I know no one ships this, and it's very likely that no one would even check this fanfic out. but i'm gonna post it anyway because ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> btw If you squint, I'm probably trying to insinuate some anderperry because why the hell not.  
> Also, I wrote this for one of my friends on Tumblr so you might see this work on Tumblr too. I don't know why I just told you that. Never mind.  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯¯\\_(ツ)_/¯¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Why’d you hate him so much, anyway?”

“Neil, for god’s sake! We've talked about this.”

“No, seriously, Charlie. What’d he do to upset you so much? You two used to be so… close.”

Charlie sighed. Neil wasn’t going to let this go unless he got a proper answer and Charlie knew it. He angrily ran his hand through his hair, questioning himself as to why he loved this artsy boy so much.

“I don’t.”

“What?” Neil looked confused. “Dude… I promised Todd that I’d meet him in the secr- uh, our dorm – and I don’t have time to decode your cryptic syntax. Please elaborate.”

“I _don’t_ hate him. What makes you think that?”

“Are you serious?! You literally told him to “go fuck himself” when he asked us – quite innocently, I think - when the next Society meeting was today. I think that hurt him quite badly, he didn’t talk to me for the next few lessons. I really can’t seem to figure out why you do what you do, or what your motives are. Please just give me a reason so I can stop feeling so undeservingly guilty all the damn time.”

“Neil… There are things you don’t know, okay? There are things I can’t tell you. And if _you_ feel so damn sorry for that scumbag, send him some kisses and chocolate in a pink envelope, eh? I think he’d enjoy that.”

Neil didn’t respond.

Instead, his eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he looked at his best friend of six years, poorly veiled scrutiny evident in the hazel of them.

Charlie’s eyes fell to the ground.

“Neil. Stop. Please. Go. Todd is waiting.”

“You don’t hate him.”

Charlie’s lips tightened into a thin line as his body formed a defensive crouch.

“I remember… it was 8th grade, wasn’t it? Yeah. You’d sneaked some whiskey into here, somehow. And we were all shucked. And you and Cameron… you two were – you two… you two disappeared. Where did you go?”

“Our dormitory.”

Neil was so surprised with actually receiving an answer from Charlie, he lost his words for a moment. 

“What happened? Did you two –”

“Yes! Okay? Yes, we made out. What’re you gonna do, huh, take me to church? Have me executed, maybe? You wanna go to Nol-?”

“-No… Charlie, no! Charlie. Listen, please. I don’t – it doesn’t matter,” Neil moved towards Charlie with the warmest of expressions, and enclosed him in an embrace brimming with affection. “I don’t care who it is that makes you happy, as long as you are happy. You’re my brother. I can’t, like, get rid of you… ever, okay?”

“Gee, thanks,” Charlie rolled his eyes, but breathed a hesitant sigh of relief slowly into the taller boy’s shoulder.

Neil let go of Charlie, ruffling his friend’s hair in an action he’d grown almost accustomed to.

“But – ”

Charlie’s smile faded, and he looked terrified. As anyone who was about to lose their best friend would.

“ – B-but?”

Charlie had never before felt so vulnerable, and Neil, never so protective.

“Please don’t be scared of me, man. Please. Do you really think I’ll hurt you?” Neil himself looked almost hurt. “I just… I just want to know… what happened. What made you two like this, you know? Why everyone has to believe you hate him.”

“People… think that? Do you – Do you think _he_ thinks that?” Charlie looked at Neil with genuine inquiry, and got an incredulous widening of eyes in response. Neil’s unique, special way of putting across the feeling of ‘Are you serious?!’.  After a minute or so, however, he sighed and added, “I _saw_ him. I saw him for what he was. He… He wasn’t anything like me, Neil. He never has been. I realized he was a crafty, pretentious little toerag whose sole desire was to fit in.”

“...but you don’t hate him.”

“I don’t… No, I don’t hate him.”

“Well?”

“Well what? What else do you want me to say?”

 “Did you tell him all this, Charlie, damn it! Because he seems pretty incredibly at loss as to what he could've possibly done wrong. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you’re not looking, Charlie, and you know what I see? I see… sadness. I see indecision and betrayal and aching. And it’s all because of _you_. Did you even explain? Did you ever give him a chance to make it up to you? Or did you just wake up one morning and swear animosity on him for the rest of your fucking life?”

“I d- I… I. Neil, I –”

Neil shook his head, his body a frame of weariness.

“I get the idea.”

“Neil, I… I don’t want him to blame himself. And… and I don’t even… I don’t hate him. I just want to- I just – How do I let him know that it was not his fault?”

“I think it’s too late to try and provide explanations, now, actually,” Neil replied, uncharacteristically cold.

“But I don’t hate him! And I don’t want him to think that! I just… I do realize what I’ve done and – as cowardly as it is – I’m too ashamed to talk to him about it directly after all this time,” Charlie’s usually firm and buoyant voice now sounded hoarse and croaky; his eyes looked threateningly close to teary. “But I don’t want him to think I hate him. I – I – I don’t want him to hate _me_ , Neil.”

“Hey. Hey, Charlie, it’s okay,” Neil couldn’t ever really stay mad at Charlie for long. He pulled his friend into another painful collision of bones and pointy edges that was the embrace of two adolescent boys, and sighed. “I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry, Neil, I’m sorry about Cam…”

The old nickname caught Neil by surprise, but he forced a smile. Charlie hadn’t called Cameron “Cam” since… Well, it had been a very long time.

“You still love him, don’t you?”

“No, Neil. No... No I don’t. I don’t like him.”

“You don’t have to like someone you love, babe,” Neil whispered into Charlie’s hair. “That’s not your choice to make.”

“I don’t lo-”

“-just promise me you’ll let him know.”

“Let him know? Let him know what?”

“That you do.”

“That I do…?”

“Promise me you’ll tell him you love him, Charlie,” Neil took Charlie’s hand, and pressed it to his own chest, so the boy could feel his heartbeat. “Swear on my life.”

There was a pause, in which Charlie regarded Neil for a long time - his eyes filled with some emotion both of the boys were too young to fathom.

“I… I promise. _I swear on your life_.”


End file.
